A LONG awaited update!!!

I know it has been beyond FOREVER since an update. I was so good in the beginning about keeping this up to date but with the chaos of life, I fell off the wagon!

There is so much going on, that I honestly don't know where to start with an update.

It has been a rough last few months in the Roche Family household. I know with my faith and strength, I will accomplish what is needed for the best of Olivia and I. Hard decisions have been set in front of me and with one step at a time, things are starting to fall into place. My heartaches with the decisions I have made for the sake of the girls, but I know in the long run it will be the best for ALL involved in it.

My family has been more than supportive through my decisions, understanding and forgiving the distance that was forced between us. True people who love you as your family, seem to be able to easily find this forgiveness.

My friends (old and new) have come out of the wood work to support me and ensure the best for Liv and I! The phone calls while I am in hysterics while they are calm and talk my through things making me realize the important things. If it isn't a funny memory to make me laugh it is putting things into perspective to realize that it is going to be OK!

The support at work has been amazing! I have HORRIBLE fatigue still and everyday I am asked by at least one Officer if I am ok and if there is anything that can be done to help me. At times, bad things are said to one another about others but I can honestly say that with such a horrible experience of this illness, I turned a new page. I realized that I have my own issues and life to worry about and not to concern myself with petty gossip which I was once all about.

Each day I pray for guidance and healing from all I have been through this last year. I know that there is a plan for me.

All treatments are complete as of now! All I can do is my best to stay healthy and be there for my girls!

All the symptoms from before...

So as I type this from home, I should be at work. I went home sick. I have battled the fatigue, itchy days and nights, night sweats and fevers for two weeks too long. Today I had to throw in the towel and leave early. It is the hardest damn thing to put on a uniform, a bullet proof vest, a duty belt and boots when you feel like complete crap. Not to mention, due to the symptoms I have, my mind is not in the game. Not exactly safe for myself or co-workers.

I called the doctor this morning and they gave me a Z-Pac and moved up my PET scan from mid-March. I am hoping that I am just trying to fight a bug off and it is not the "Hodge" or something worse coming back.

With this said, I am going to bundle up on the couch in my jammies and watch a movie. I need rest. I think between work and maintaining a 4.0 as a full time college student as well as be a mom to 2 and a wife is starting to take a toll. It is time to stop putting so much on my lap!