I am finally in a place where I am numb yet no matter the outcome I am going to beat what ever it is. I feel like I am healthy and that I am strong. I have two little girls as well as my best friend/husband that needs me.
My strength has come from my prayer. I know that Darren and I have not prayed the way that we used to and that we need to seek our strength in the lord. I know that I am not the picture perfect christian and I will most likely never be that way. I know that I am forgiven for my wrongs and no matter what our faith is going to bring us through this.
Just as I feel I have the strength, my best friend/husband begins to fall...It hurts me so bad to see him cry. I know that he is needing me and the support of others who have already come through for him! You know you have an amazing husband when out of no where, he tells you that he will sell his boat and jet ski to get through this financially. Everyday since the day he told me he loved me he tells me even when times are bad. He is my ROCK...when I am not strong he is...that is what makes us and our marriage.
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