How do you not have the results?

I was scared and quiet walking into the new doctors office. Dr. Hano is my new oncologist. He is a super nice guy and to be honest reminds me ALOT of my father in law. Same look and so to the point it is funny!

They did not have the results from the pathologist from my surgery. So I was a bitter about that. Dr Hano came back to tell me that he was able to get part of the results but it was not the information he needed. I should have the results at this afternoons appointment with my ENT Dr. Anthony. He wants to set up all the tests to start chemo on May 17. He recommended for me to "trim up" my hair to prepare for myself for the hair loss...this is when the tears came!!!! My mom and Darren proceeded to talk about wigs and how I can be curly or straight or red or blonde. I just asked my husband if we can buy every color "do rag" cause I think I can rock it! Ha...I have to have humor in between my tears. So I waited for 45 minutes and I had all 5 of my appointments for the next 2 days....

Darren was with me and my mom also came so that she knows about what treatment is to come. She will be taking me to and from treatment and I will be staying with her while my LOVE is working. He will come pick me up after work. Kinda like daycare for your wife! HaHa..
I normally do my best to work on household chores and cook dinner everyday. I am having a hard time thinking of what things are going to be like when I am sick and tired after treatment. I know that I have a husband that is MORE than great when it comes to these things but I can not imagine how overwhelmed he must be. He is always reassuring me to be strong. He probably feels like the weight of the world is on him. Just if there was some way I could lift that weight!!!

I am so overwhelmed. Simple things are what trigger me to be angry and upset. Most of the time I am in the right mind set and I know that I will overcome this.

The Dr is asking for me to go to a NO DUTY status for one month to see how I am with the chemotherapy before allowing me to return to work. It is looking at about a 6 months of treatment at this point.

Most people at work are aware of what is going on with me. I did not want to "air" this on facebook and wanted to be able to tell others about what is going on. I told my shift last night in read off what was going on. I think the first sign was the HUGE band aid on my neck for the last 30 work hours that something happened or was wrong. Most people on my shift have spoken to me about it and seem very supportive. I appreciate this...